Will get back to a totally original post next time, the topic of which will be watersports so those not into that or care to try to understand people who are might not want to check in for several days. I have started it but not finished and I am worn out this morning by what my Master put me through this weekend in the most pleasant way.
Finding your other online is possible. More often then not people have already shot themselves in the foot with how they go about writing their profiles. Here are some tips that are not only from my personal experience but from reading more posts then I can begin to count of people complaining about not finding a good person and the almost unanimous replies to those posts in what people are looking for when searching for one on an online personal site.
These tips are good for all roles and genders
1) Positive is attractive and negative repels. Avoid rants, bitches and bad attitude.
2) Write specifically to who you want to attract. Way too many just go on and on writing about all the people they do not want. Do you not want to find the person that is compatible? Why write about all the ones who are not?
3) Effort translates into sincerity. If you are looking for your long term other do you think that particular cause deserves more then a few minutes? Before you even go on to a site to set up a profile sit down and type out your essay section. Write who you are and what you are looking for both for the regular life and the power exchange life. Take several or many days to add and edit your profile. Reading something a day later you often see it in a different light. People who have profiles that basically look like they took a couple of minutes to write just makes it look like they are on the site on a lark.4) Write the profile based on the person is a stranger. Do not assume you are going to get the benefit of the doubt. Way too many people write profiles subconsciously that come off like you should know them on some level already.
5) Do not waste space or time giving yourself qualities that everyone thinks they have. It is unoriginal and horrendously boring! You may think writing you are real, sincere, honest, safe and experienced makes you special or attractive. Think again and browse profiles of people like you. You will find everyone else has those same qualities and not one person has written they are fake, insincere, liar and dangerous. These are qualities you earn with the person and not something that puts you at the top of the list or separates you by just writing those words.
6) Do not get carried away. Women, a man is a man and not going to be perfect specimen from your fantasies. Just because they might be your Master does not mean they will be perfect. Too much listing of qualities in away that makes you look like you will never meet anyone who is not truly a perfect human being will convey to the more real and sincere man not to bother with you. This is just some time killing fantasy fun for you.
Men, online is not some order form to pick out a woman from an online catalog. Write for a woman you are compatible with and not just your perfect vision. If you go trolling for young women in their twenties by stating you prefer 20-25 then do not be surprised when you write women older they will not touch you. It is far easier to read a message from a woman who you are not attracted to because of age or physical appearance and a quick reply of thanks but no thanks then eliminate someone because you listed your IDEAL woman. A woman even in your age limit and height/weight preference can still be turned off by the mere fact you list something like that. Us woman do think about when we age or gain a few pounds if we will still be attractive. Listing a narrow and utopian preference will make most women wonder even if they fit that when they get past your age preference or gain a few pounds will they get kicked to the curb.
7) At the same time do not be too vague. Too many males write not to eliminate anyone. All this does is eliminate everyone. Write to your target. Dominants: submissive people want a decisive take charge person who inspires and has a strong vision. We want to imagine what life will be like with you. Submissives: dominants want to know in fairly direct ways if you are going to be a fit in the power exchange areas or not. Flowery prose and information on your regular self is fine but do not go looking for your other on a power exchange site and then play that aspect of compatibility down by dismissing it for a later time.
8) Get over yourself! I repeat, GET OVER YOURSELF! No stranger cares about your baggage, issues and bad experiences. This is exponentially true about your attempts to find your other online or even in your local community.
Women, just because you get a ton of messages when you create a profile does not make you special. You will get a ton of losers. Deal with it by deleting them and move on. Complaining about them in your profile just makes you look like a negative person.
Men, you create a profile you have agreed to being a normal person and you should not expect special treatment. Complaining about fakes, women who disappear and ones who never reply back only causes you harm. No women will ever be attracted to a man who whether directly or indirectly assumes she is guilty of being insincere before she is innocent.
FOR BOTH GENDERS IF ALL YOU HAVE DEALT WITH IS “LOSERS” OF VARIOUS NATURES IT IS OFTEN BECAUSE YOU HAVE MADE YOUR PROFILE INTO A SELF FULFILLING PROPHECY BECAUSE ONLY LOSERS WILL HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH YOU!
IF YOU ARE NOT GETTING THE PEOPLE YOU ARE AFTER, LOOK IN THE MIRROR, WHO YOU SEE IN THE MIRROR IS THE MAIN REASON. TRY A DIFFERENT APPROACH.
In addition to watching your attitude, get over your self importance. Manifestos on how a dominant, slave and a power exchange relationship should be like this is absolute fact are a big negative. The life is a big tent and failure to understand with that there are no such things as one true ways will put you in a poor light even if the other likes your way.
9) Do not have your profile be dominated by what you think the other dominant/submissive should be like you are teaching a class in power exchange relationships. For the most part they know who they are and will be a fit or not a fit. They want to know about you not about a theorized utopian version of them. Write how you would want to read if you were the other role. Do you really think it is really a good idea to have a profile made up entirely of a theoretical slave should be? Do you really think a potential slave just wants to know that?
10) Do not write your fantasy image of yourself let alone lie about anything. Remember you goal is to find just one person not to impress cyber strangers. Do not risk destroying trust if you find someone and they catch you in a lie. They will find out your ex did not leave because of some great career opportunity you guided them to or that your former slave who you had for years left to take care of a sick family member eventually. Do not post pictures that were you ten years and thirty less pounds ago. Do not claim you are a business owner because you get some extra cash by cleaning gutters beside your main job.11) If you post pictures most people prefer normal ones in normal settings. Women, those who post nude and provocative pictures I doubt the men mind but also understand it will be even more vital to have a good profile. You will get attention but many of the more sincere will also be skeptical of your sincerity for a real time thing. Men, will avoid the cock shot cliché gripe, but understand not any picture will do. You drunk, unkempt or acting like a child in the picture you might think twice about posting it.
Remember women are not as visually stimulated as you men. A picture for us can often be way more important with the clues it gives. For example, a picture of a guy who is physically top notch but looks drunk, horribly dressed and clutter and filth all around him is far less appealing to most women then a man who is not the classic stud physically but is nicely groomed and dressed and the background is clean and/or thought to where the picture was taken. Also a man all decked out in dominant gear with a sneer on your face comes off more funny then attractive.
12) Do not make gross generalizations about others who are online. Even if you think an abnormal amount on a personal site are “losers” of some nature the fact is it comes off as negative, obnoxiously self-serving and incorrect. No matter how high the percentage there are still a lot of honest and sincere people. A person who can make a strong case for themselves without needing to tear down others to build themselves up is attractive. Basically ripping on others to make a case for yourself is going “please pick me as I am the only thing left over”, just not attractive let alone inspiring at all.
13) Spelling and grammar do count. Even the ones who proclaim it does not for them are lying. At the minimum a profile with misspelled words and bad grammar will have a negative effect on a person’s mind subconsciously. If you have competition in getting a person’s attention then why would you immediately start off with a disadvantage? Poor grammar and spelling also shows lack of effort, sincerity or too much self involvement. It is the equivalent of showing up at a bar smelly and dirty.
14) You are not more important then anyone else. Nobody from any gender or role wants anything to do with a person who thinks they are above other people let alone them. Avoid idiotic phrases like “my time is valuable” it makes you look stupid and is unattractive. Everyone at the minimum thinks their time is valuable why is yours more? In fact it could be said if you are so busy or have such trouble with judgment on who to take time for, that one can easily infer you might not have anytime for a real relationship or are a very poor judger of people for us to trust your own opinion and how it actually relates to you.
15) Admit and deal with the facts. Most men know women are not at a loss for men contacting them on a personal site. At the same time though most men seem to not put two and two together and understand your profile and message will not get the benefit of the doubt or automatically get intense consideration just because. You are competing with every other man who has written that woman, understand, accept and deal with it. Only dismissing others you have never met as losers only makes yourself look like a loser when trying to get a woman to notice you.
16) No shortcuts! Online is not a bar and all you need is a good opening line. The sincere other who is sincerely looking is wanting to find another who is sincere and sincerely looking. They do not want to have to strike up conversation with everyone to see how sincere they are. It is literally not possible for a woman inundated with messages to do so.
Avoid self serving justifications because strangers do not give a damn. A stranger does not care if you are better in person then writing. A stranger does not care that you think a written profile is useless. Only a fool comes to play golf dressed in a baseball uniform and wearing a mitt. You are online for a reason and you have to deal with it or do not bother to begin with.
17) Before anything else get to know yourself.
It is all good to want to think you want or be in a power exchange relationship. It is another to not make a serious effort to look at yourself and try to honestly figure out what you need or would be compatible with. You owe it to everyone who you will be in contact with regardless of role or gender not to mislead them even if it is subconsciously. You also need to respect what others are about and just expect another to sacrifice to your desired levels in the power exchange areas.Dominants there is nothing wrong with wanting a normal relationship with a submissive kinky porn star when in bed. There is nothing wrong with wanting a traditional role relationship. There is something wrong though if you go looking for a person who wants 24/7 type power exchange relationship when not wanting or able to provide that and expect them to fit your limitations and desires.
Submissives there is nothing wrong with just wanting bottom things done. There is nothing wrong with not wanting 24/7 in any of this. There is something wrong though when you lead a dominant on that you might want this or think another can change you into wanting this but still expect a dominant who expresses to want this to change their desires when you figure out just what they are.
Your profile is the first impression you are giving someone. Now if finding your other is important is it not? For something this important being negative in general, accusatory, condescending and showing up in dirty jeans and a T-shirt while on a first date is not consider a good strategy. Why do that version with your online profile?
Stay positive, be patient and never forget you are writing for one person who fits you and not running for some popularity contest or some law person who can change the Internet by calling out all the people who have done you wrong.
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