Foundation: Part Three-Consistency

I moan and roll my eyes every time people start listing qualities of a good dominant/submissive or what is the foundation of power exchange relationships. The reason why the list is always qualities that are important in any good person or in any good relationship like trust, honesty and communication.

This is not that. I believe there are four important qualities that are critical to highlight as they are ones that get more emphasized in power exchange relationships. The reason being not that they are more important compared to other relationship dynamics but they are more radically different or require more conscious knowledge and effort then in other dynamic types.

To me there are four: Structure, Atmosphere, Consistency and Passion.

I want to write about them in four separate posts. So this post is dedicated to:

Part Three: Consistency

This should be a very short and simple post as I think everyone reading knows what consistency is and tends to be in favor of it in pretty much all things in life when they are good things. I mean we really would not want a consistent whiner or a person is late or maybe some of you do and I am sorry if that offended.

So in a total power exchange relationship (TPE) what are some of the things that we need to be extra careful to be consistent with.

Here are some things that are important make sure there is consistency.

Use of power as communicated: This is very simple as a slave I am going to often act in a literal sense. That is what happens when obedience is dominant in our life. When in a long term relationship things will of course change and often a dominants interest in some things they are very active in controlling with their slave and tastes and preferences they may not be direct but have established clearly communicated guidelines. It is very critical for a dominant to be consistent in these things and if/when something changes do not just think normal evolution will take care of it but to actively change it with communication with your slave.

For example if an owner decided they will pick out all clothes worn out in public for their slave then you must be prepared to actually do that. Sure on occasion a pick it yourself is fine but if it goes from always picking the outfit to the point your slave has no clue if you are going to pick it out, let her decide and especially get annoyed by her asking then that will cause anxiety and stress for the slave and that is a problem.

Punishment: This should be very self explanatory. An owner has to punish both causes and what the punishment is in a consistent manner. If we all had a dime each time a submissive complained about this area being inconsistent and the troubles it caused there would be no talk of any recession. Strict obedience is not natural. If you have set up a life that requires strict obedience there are some things that are just required and one of those is to be consistent in dealing with infractions. A slave needs to know the punishment will happen if they commit a punishable thing. It is strong motivation and, get this, a strong showing the owner cares about us and the dynamic. To not punish consistently again causes stress and anxiety in a slave that will hurt their obedience and cause issues in general.

Our attitude as a slave: Look we are human beings and going to get tired, be moody and have temporary feelings that are sometimes not how awesome our owner is. At the same time though it is critical not to let these types of things overwhelm our service to our owner(s). Both roles feed off the other and to be inconsistent with our attitude about our role and dedication to the dynamic so for our owner to have to read or feel your acceptance/happiness is not consistent but more randomly based will hurt the dynamic greatly. There are two distinct different vibes of being obedient just because and being obedient because we accept it and want to do it for our other.

Being used in acts of domination/discipline: I wrote here, and have and will in many other places, submissive personality and being strictly obedient from submission on a slave level is two different things and submission and domination are two very different things as well.

Following rules and rituals, doing things that we know please our owner and doing all the normal day to day things assigned to us by our owner is not domination. For submissive personalities like mine that is going to be standard behavior and not keep me in the submission level I need and desire to live as a slave. I can do those types of things in any relationship. I am going to go to the proper level to be strictly obedient and thrive by the feeling of being dominated by my owner. These are direct acts by my Master. I am talking about all the kinks, punishments and direct in the moment orders. These are the things that draw people with submissive personalities to power exchange relationships.

Consistency is important because these acts have various affects and shelf life on a slave like me. This is why for example the maintenance spanking in Domestic Discipline is often critical in those types of relationships. You can read beautiful descriptions in blog after blog about a person struggling and in desperate need of discipline. Without consistency in these things makes a submissive go on a roller coaster of emotions that is just not good. This is why you will often see the common expression from a slave that they need to be used frequently. It is not out of selfish pleasure.

Show you care about the other: This dynamic can be so well setup that often we are getting a lot of intimate moments of some type. But that consistency can also help lose just how special and personal our feelings are to our beloved other and we all adore expressions of love from our other in a way that is appreciated by them and often have at least some separation from the usual day to day things. We need to consistency show our love for the other and our devotion to the dynamic to help reassure and inspire our other. They do not have to be big things and often just words but something that steps us out of our regular world to remind the other just how great we feel about them and the life we are living.

Consistency is not a tough thing to comprehend but applying it and making sure all important aspects in our relationships can be difficult. Life in general tends to want to dominate our time and emotions. Keeping focus on being consistent will help that fight while being inconsistent will help wash away a power exchange dynamic.