It Is What It Is

The human brain is complex not linear

Often in life we tend to make gross generalizations. Often ones having to do with other people and/or some one size fit all type statement are particularly bad and offensive that deserve any beat down they get when heard or read. Then there are statements and thoughts about a specific topic or ourselves that appear simple and straightforward but the truth is they too can be gross generalizations that with more thought are usually not so absolute.

We often like to make our beliefs and personal preferences and thoughts as logical facts. The fact is the human brain controls us and it is not a logic/fact machine but one that throws in the spectrum of thoughts, emotions, experiences and the kitchen sink into everything we do. Therefore most things might have a common thought for most people and some things can very from person to person. The big factor is our own brain. The classic example to me is does penis size matter. The logical scientists always want to point out about where the nerve endings in a woman’s vagina are. But the fact is a woman’s pleasure with sex also has a lot to do with their brain and if their head thinks size matters then all the nerve endings at the end of the vagina in the world will not matter.

I got thinking about this after some conversation where I work and then stumbling upon a few of the usual type questions and statements the power exchange life love to debate. The answer for most of the example that follow is that it may be one thing/thought primarily for one person but can be a different one thought primarily for another and be completely a different thought to both when altering their thought parameters.

It often about context

One of the more common questions of this genre that I have often heard is people trying to define oral sex as a submissive act or not. Often this is played out in terms of is oral sex itself submissive or the stupid debate of should a dominant even give oral sex to their slave as it is not a dominant act.

Again it depends on the person and the situation; certainly being ordered to give a blow job when one is not thinking or particularly in the mood would be a submissive act to most people. But I would think for most people initiating oral sex in a no strings/reciprocal way would not be submissive. Then there is the often communicated desire for a submissive woman who is in a domestic discipline relationship that strongly wants to suck the cock of her man after a spanking and/or corner time has happen. Certainly our submissive feelings are strong in that moment but at least for me this desire to want to do that to my man has less about our dynamic and more about my stroked desire to show my love by an performing an intimate act of pleasure. So I do not necessarily equate it as a submissive act for myself but could see why one would.

Then it can just be a constant

Sometimes context does not control the feelings one has but at best merely might lighten or deepen the feeling. A good example with me is anal sex. This always feels submissive to me no matter what context. Even when I have done this without any power exchange aspect around with or without people in the life anal sex always feels submissive for me personally. Certainly and I think obviously there are many people within the life that anal sex gives off no submissive feelings as well.

Again our human brain is tricky and unique. So for me and my example my initial reaction to being penetrated is a that is not natural and not as pleasurable as regular intercourse while others on the opposite end might be thinking pleasure time has begun. Then there are the ones in between where context will mean everything.

Even if something to the person is a constant does not mean to believe everyone has that same feeling constantly for that thing.

For consideration and communication

My reason for what I have written is for both roles in the power exchange dynamic to understand themselves and the other person in terms of these feelings from an individual level and not from a theoretical level and maybe more importantly be accepting of the answers you get.

It may be nice to think a slave just naturally gets direct pleasure by doing their domestic duties for their dominant but if the slave only gets the overall pleasure of pride and caring that they create a good home for their family and loved one then that needs to be respected. This is also why it is actually easy to administer a spanking to a masochist for a punishment in which they do go through the stages of punishment as the context is completely different then if for pleasure.

Understanding the other’s feelings and if context is important or everything in certain acts can go a long way in making a power exchange relationship go more smoother and maximize the good feelings. Accepting the human brain can treat something a way you do not think is “normal” or logical is an important and way more beneficial then preaching how it should think.