No on/off switch

No enhancements

When discussing Total Power Exchange (TPE) relationship it seems quite obvious that with the word total it is assumed almost most or all power is giving over to the dominant. But what can be a problem is from both ends truly understanding and maybe more importantly the complexity of living truly this way.

I got myself in trouble again by not being able to skip reading a profile on my way to reading my messages and it was from a man who proceeded to want a slave for a TPE and then listed what he wanted like he was ordering from a made to order robot catalog. What I mean he clearly just wanted his life now and for a woman to fit in while still being 24/7 TPE slave for him. To use just how he wanted and pretty much a typical woman outside of when he wanted to engage and I do not mean just on kink and sex, in other words, a slave with an on/off switch for his convenience.

If you want another person to commit to you fully you have to commit to the other fully

What I just wrote sounds like me warning dominants that they must also fully commit but I wrote it as an important reminder for both roles. It is very simple, if you enter into any type of relationship where you expect the person to be 100% committed, as in this person is only to be with you for all things we normally constitute as what we get and expect as couples, then we have to supply the same things back to them. Dominant or submissive this goes as it is quite simply the way it is.

What I am next about to type should be the most blatantly obvious thing I have ever written in my life. When someone commits to us part of the deal is they will from need through just want some or many things they can only get with being with another person now are responsibilities for us. We are talking about basic companionship, sex, financial, emotional and physical security off the top of my head.

Theorized quicksand

Here are some stereotypes of people calling themselves dominants or submissives who fail to comprehend such a simple and obvious fact.

1) Dominants who want a completely regular relationship except for on demand total obedience, the proverbial slave with an on/off switch.
2) Submissives who want a dominant to have an on/off switch so they can do basically what they want and want to give up power on their terms and especially their time table.
3) Couples looking for a third basically for domestic duties.
4) Dominants, primarily females, who will not or very little do any sexual/intimate let alone sex with their slave but still expect to find a slave to be totally dedicated to them in a major and exclusive relationship.

All these people have one thing in common and that is they do not want to accept responsibility and owe time to the needs and strong desires of the people they want total commitment from. I called this section “theorized quicksand” because this group and others not thought of off the top of my head are the world leaders of the crime “cyber theorist”. Life does not work in their favor to get the perfect set up so they make things up that go against logic and basic human beings 101 and get on their pedestal to preach it. In the end these people either find their needle in the haystack person or never find another or find but never can hold onto another.

This also very much includes the mindset of another

Getting back to my original example of the guy only wanting a slave to be slave like when he needed it, he was very honest and I commend him for that. He clearly communicated a desire to do what he wanted in life which was to hang out with the boys and come home to a nice house without any responsibility on his end while still, again on his absolute terms, have his slave do anything at anytime but outside of all this the woman would be free to be herself.

Why this is he does not get it is simply because he wants total committed servitude but only randomly all the while clearly communicating no responsibility of effort on his part for his slave. The part though I want to comment on is the be on your own except when I feel like it then it is 100% total as this is an impossible mindset.

A slave cannot be deeply submissive without any consistency let alone go from being a Sex in the City woman to slave on demand. The mind and personality just does not work that way. What we do that is slave like is not about on demand in the moment but an overall personality and attaining and maintaining a submission level that is compatible for all the people in the relationship.

Slaves I will not let off easy

Since I have bashed dominants more I will bash slaves a little here.

Most women and certainly slaves are attracted to men who are leaders/take charge type people. Slaves we are also particular to men who can communicate what they want and can easily take charge of a situation and especially our relationship with them. Like the section above a dominant that has these qualities that we want there is a mindset in those qualities that we as submissives must accept that they do not want or have the ability to turn this on and off at will.

The fact is if you want a TPE relationship this simply means as a slave you must accept that your life is going to revolve around the dominant and not treat it as simply an addition to your current life but is in fact a life changing thing. There is a difference between a dominant not stepping up to the plate for real life things as well as your needs and strong desires they are called poor significant other. But it is a slave’s duty to comprehend and understand the difference of sacrifice of life being once basically just being about you and life now being more about the dominant.

Simply put a dominant looking for TPE is not looking to become a glorified mind reader and willing to turn his dominance on and off based on your own desires and whims.

The good comes with the bad

TPE relationships are not some magical cure allowing one to live their life perfectly and use the dynamic as a power tool that can be turned on and off when convenient for one person in the relationship. To get to that level and maintain it requires sacrifice from both parties and acceptance that it will affect all aspects of the relationship and the individual to a certain extent and to accept complete responsibility for the other person’s needs and strong desires period.