Myth of Slaves and Servitude

I was talking to one of my first owners yesterday and she mentioned that a Mistress that we both know from being in the same local community had gotten a book about the power exchange life published. Now this woman has been in it over twenty-five years and no one including myself who know her or have listened to her in a class/seminar would say she has no clue. My former Mistress was upset after reading her book as just promoted the usual stereotypes of submissives being weak and incomplete human beings.

I took a look at her website which had a brief synopsis and right there in that synopsis was the theme that upsets me and runs rampant with dominants. The theme that slaves are all about selfless serving and just care about their owner’s needs being taken care of. It sounds great and it fits both the ego of a dominant (I must be great if this person does these things just for who I am) and a submissive (I am a heck of a slave to be so selfless). The problems being that it is a lie both directly or indirectly and this blatant and rampant promotion that a slave just basically equates servitude causes more problems when one goes looking for a total power exchange relationship from all roles and both genders.

Servitude is not a personality trait or an independent need!

I would never want to mislead one into thinking that serving your owner is not a big part of being a slave because it is and it is a huge one. But the direct and maybe more the indirect promotion that being a slave is about serving and very little or nothing else and this is hard wired in our DNA is not.

Slaves are human beings with other needs, desires, egos, expectations and on and on. But servitude is not one of those needs. Servitude is a byproduct of a submissive personality and other things in us that want and need to please or other and put their needs and desires as are number one need but not only need or even not the only main need. As I write throughout my blog and have especially recently a submissive personality by itself HAS NO NEED to be in a power exchange relationship. To be owned/serve an owner at the level these clueless wonders talk about requires the domination element and that is what an owner must bring to the table and this is way more then “good” character, desire to be spoiled and knowing about toys and using them as rewards for service.

Why the promotion of a slave basically just serves is so bad

1) It is insulting. I am sorry but I am just more of a complete human being and also simply more complicated. To be portrayed like that is the only thing I am about is an actual very dim opinion of a human being that gets broadcasted. Most slaves’ lives are simply more complicated and the desire and ability to serve so unconditionally for another should be acknowledged as a mixture of things and not just some trait along with the great dominant that makes us who we are. In all honesty if all or mainly I am to a perspective owner is expressed by my servitude and you want me 24/7 in a TPE, Fuck you!

2) It is phenomenally misleading. This life is not simply in someone and all they need is some instruction manual and they are good to go. It is especially damaging when people promote the slave serves and lives to please their owner. Again, the reason why is if someone who is capable and fits best as a slave only reads this type of garbage they are going to be confused and maybe make bad decisions or not try severe power exchange when maybe it could give them the best chance of happiness. Because no mentally healthy submissive person out there is dreaming of serving for serving sake as they are really dreaming of finding another person who the will care for greatly/love and with being dominated will need to put this person above themselves as the byproduct.

3) It hurts many experienced and potential owners who could be exceptional owners but shoot themselves in the foot with promoting this both looking for and keeping a slave. For those looking someone like me read this as your philosophy and from past experience will automatically assume you are guilty before innocent of thinking you are a very selfish person wanting more to be spoiled then be in an adult relationship. For those who get a slave and have trouble keeping them, it is not because they are all fakes or turn out to be just “do me” subs only in it for kinky things. It is because you might have mistakenly fooled yourself into thinking serving you makes your slave happy when it is the happy slave who needs to serve.

Why is this myth such a monster?

Two things come into play.

1) EGO!!!!!!!!!

I think by far this is often the thing that gets in the way. Way too many dominants are unprepared to admit to personal failings and sometimes relationships were just not meant to be. These are for the weak not the strong. Often you will read the more lame ones, slave left to care for a sick family member or the slave got a once in a lifetime job out of state because of all the things the owner taught them for example. These we can have a good chuckle over.

But the more common excuses that people often eat up are the turns out the person was a big fake or the always good one “turned out to be just a do me sub”.

Well guess what that do me sub might have been an exceptional slave but left the dominant because they were simply not getting what they needed from the dominant. That the slaves begging for more kink was them trying to simply communicate they needed more active domination in their life and the owner was bringing nothing to the relationship.

There is no shortage of people who are selfish and basically just want to be spoiled calling themselves dominants. These are usually the ones promoting this myth.

I will not let us slaves off so easy as well. We also have a tendency to promote this myth because lets face it; it is quite cool to project this image as it does make us look good. That selfless image of anything anytime for my other no strings attached. Certainly short term there are no strings but the fact is they do something to us that has our submission level high and why we truly want and are willing to serve in such a way.

2) We mirror what we want.

In all relationships we tend to do this. In the short term/beginning of a relationship we tend to do and act out in a way that we want ourselves or our relationships to be. These feelings are real but they are just not the true feelings we are hoping they will become. There is nothing sinister about as it is human nature 101.

For example for many of us we have had flings/no strings sex relationships. Maybe a hot weekend in Las Vegas or at spring break with a person you met there and it was over when you came back home. If you were to see just the sex and compared it to a honeymoon or some great weekend away when in total love sex you would probably not see too big of a difference visually but of course emotionally the sex feels much different and probably better.


We humans do this all the time. It can look the same but in reality it is quite different. For example when I started seeing my Master whenever I visited him I always wanted to clean his house and cook for him. It was not because I had the need as a slave to serve but because I liked him and wanted him to like me and for me to show what I was all about and can offer. Now that he owns my mind, heart and body I need to do all the domestic things at least up to his level and hopefully more like I am a drug addict.

The problem is when we mirror it will only have a short time frame where it needs to turn into the real thing or it simply will not continue. This is where many people get confused. Because often the people calling themselves dominants but are just really wanting to be spoiled, ego stroked and are selfish in nature. They want the byproduct of a slave who is getting what they need and has true emotional feelings for that person so they obsess over the sample goods not realizing it is just a sample and the slave has a big say if to buy and is looking and hoping the dominant is going to step up.

So the dominant has the slave jump through these hoops not realizing they are only getting the sample. They get their house cleaned, meals cooked and what not but for the ones who are not willing to bring active domination to the table in the relationship they will fail. This is how no one can never really tell from the outside if the slave failed to an owner because they were just a do me type or the owner was bringing nothing to the table.

Dominants must bring something to the table other then their wonderful character and “natural” “dominant” personality

Slaves do not live to serve or even mainly serve. It is simply a powerful byproduct of our submissive personality, falling for our owner and that owner’s active domination over us mixed all together that makes us need to serve our owner and make their needs and desires be our number one need.

Slaves are not like dogs and can get trained to serve and obey by being rewarded by kinky things. A person calling themselves dominants who basically use kinks as payments for being spoiled are not having many successful long term relationships.

Remember the Mistress I mentioned at the top of this post who published a book and in it preaches slaves are mainly about servitude. Well did you know she has never had a relationship last more then nine months in her life?

Just a reminder to filter anything you read or hear, including my junk, through your own brain for reality and common sense. There is a huge difference of wishing something or someone is and what they are. The successful people do not wish but work in reality to make it happen.