Attracted to what you hate

How can a person who has no masochistic bone in their body be drawn to a sadist? How can a person claim to not enjoy watersports but crave them done to her like an addict?

If you ever want to separate out the dominants full of hot air from the very few who get, accept and enjoy how a majority of submissives who identify as slaves ask them a questions like this.

The answer is domination is the draw to this life for a slave not just a submissive personality that likes kinky things. Power is the fetish. The physical manifestations of my owner truly using me for their pleasure and amusement knowing but not caring about my immediate pleasure or even enjoying just because of my non enjoyment are the spice of the life.

The often screwed up ideology

For many in this life including many M/s relationships kinks can partly or always be about mutual enjoyment. Certainly for me when I am sexually objectified that my enjoyment in that area is partly from the direct aspect of what is happening and not just from power being exercised over me for example. But this belief as a driving force in a total power exchange dynamic is where many dominants really get themselves in trouble.

Basically this is the carrot and the stick approach. Why it is so flawed when it comes to Master/slave TPE relationships is in essence the dominant is basically basing obedience on some level as reward based and that a submissive is some sort of drug addict needing a kinky fix. Take a step back and what do you have… Topping from the bottom which is just as yucky from a slave’s point of view as a dominant’s as why would a slave enjoy a dominant going I will do a kink if you are good?

First a quick rehash of one of my major themes in this blog

Before I explain the mindset of a slave like me first a reminder I write often in this blog. A person with a submissive personality does not need the power exchange life to be happy. People with submissive personalities can live happily in the real world and spoil a regular person(s). A person who has a submissive personality and wants to live in an M/s TPE life wants to be dominated.

What is domination? Well that is the active part of the relationship where control and what is done or being order to be done is in the hands of the dominant and NOT what the submissive would do if it was up to them on their own accord. A submissive personality will cook a meal the other likes regardless of the dynamic while a dominant telling them exactly what to cook for dinner is domination for example.

A slave can make decisions for themselves, they just really enjoy getting decisions taken away from them. A slave has the ability to be happy and in control of their own life but enjoys it way more to give up control to a person who relishes in taking it. Now back to the topic of the post…

The sweet addictive dichotomy

So what is then the dynamic that can make someone like me who hates pain but simply adores then a sadist? Because it offers up some of the most intense and intimate acts of domination that I can experience.

When I am being dominated in the kink/sex area this is what is happening. I have my Master who I love and trust completely doing something to me or making me do something that I do not want to do at that moment or at all and I get no direct pleasure. It is the dichotomies of my suffering combined with seeing the person I love and serve take pleasure in the whole thing. It is the physical manifestation of my owner clearly demonstrating that they truly have not only no problem in making me suffer but can take great enjoyment in it.

So when you throw in this intimate/sexual and intense type domination acts and throw in as a submissive personality I am a feeder and to see my Master enjoying himself let alone getting off on doing this to me then you are talking about an incredible experience that just never gets old. I can go from crying intensely with not one ounce of me turned on to an intensely pure sexual animal on fire in a micro second and this feeling can last a very long time.

A dominant that understand this and is the compatible opposite is a much sought out commodity for a slave like me.

Not all dominants who want a 24/7 TPE relationship are suited for it

What I just wrote above was something I put great emphasis in my profile when I went looking for my new owner and something I write a lot on the message board I sometimes contribute to. I cannot begin to tell you how many dominants that are looking for slaves for a TPE whiff on this concept. I can also tell you I have had at more women than I could count write me after reading my profile and all writing nearly the exact same thing. They comment on this specific part of my profile and go that is just like me and are there any dominants out there that get that and can do that.

That is the problem. There are dominants out there that get it but just as there is a big difference in submissive levels of bedroom bottoms all the way to 24/7 TPE slaves there is differences in dominants. But unfortunately this is not something admitted, promoted and talked about in this life all particularly often. It is unfortunate but dominants often deem themselves one size fits all and often those wishing for a 24/7 TPE few limits slave are either not capable/do not enjoy the domination aspect of owning one or worse have no understanding of what domination is truly about.

So instead of actual domination you get the ramblings and theories that leave slaves like me with a cold feeling. You get the “I will only inflict pain if you deserve it or as a reward”. You get the “I do not like anything more then others and can supply whatever you need in the kinky areas”.

A Master to a slave is a leader and taker not an administrator and/or order taker.

For me bring on the sadist!

The owner I submit to has my love, trust and devotion to him and our dynamic and I believe he loves, cares for me and is devoted to me and our dynamic. I will be dominated in order to be happy and in a deep enough submissive level to flourish in a 24/7 total power exchange relationship.

With that base I not only need to experience the physical manifestations of being dominated I crave that dichotomy of the Master I love causing me such suffering and loving and getting off on the fact that he can do it to me. So that is why a woman like me without a masochistic bone in her body seeks out a Master who is a sadist. Because that intense domination is the drug that drives us crazy!