I am not a whore

Warning! Warning! Logic Breakdown!

Common phrases read and heard from dominants about wanting a slave and how they will treat them:

“A slave puts all of their owner’s needs and desires above their own.”
“I will reward obedience by doing the things (kinky/sex) you want/like.”

Ok, here is the quiz. Why are these things for a real time happy slave so stupid when imagined together?

Now I know I write on this topic a lot but often just within another topic and usually being mean to a certain group of dominants. Instead of just rehashing the same old comments I thought I would spare the judgment of dominants and instead let one actually look into a slave’s brain and see what I process and why.

Answer to the quiz is two parts.

Part One: because my main pleasure is pleasing my wonderful Master rewards are yucky and insulting as my obedience needs to be paid for like I am a whore for kink/sex.

My Master has long ago won over my heart, mind and soul and because of this he is who he is to me and how we live brings me my love for him. With my love comes my zealot attempt to be as obedient as possible. That love brings my need to make his needs, desires and simple pleasures take any precedent over my own. Logic dictates that one does not serve one out of love and need payment for services rendered.

Look I am a fan of sex and kink as the next person reading this. There are many things done to me in these areas that bring direct pleasure and I would be sad if they were not in my life. But that is a compatibility thing with my Master as if they are done just only because I expect or need them to in order to be happy and obedient simply is an awful and horrible thought.

Often, at least certainly for me, what is happening in the kinky things has a lot more to it then some sort of pleasure. In fact for me the kinky things the last thing I think about them is any direct physical pleasure. This leads to the second part of my answer…

Part Two: Kinky things are not just for pleasure to a slave!

I am a slave. I admit to having a control problem and insecurities that are big motivations as to why I am a slave and love it so much.

I love my Master and always want to see him happy and thinking they cannot imagine life without me. I need to try to make him happiest as I can and try not to burden him any more then realistically I can. I have just one major drawback to actually being able to live this way. I have to know I am doing just that for him. When I mean know I do not mean simple words out of his mouth like “I love you” or simple acts of love like flowers given at random times or surprise spa getaways. I want to know in my heart that the things he does and orders from me are truly what he desires and makes him happy. I want pure actions and words from him and not conditional or him guessing what I want that he thinks he better do.

How does a Master quench my thirst for this is quite simple it is by making me suffer which more times then not is going to be through doing kinky things. Make me suffer so I can show you just how much I love and I am devoted to you. Make me suffer so I know with far more certainty that you have zero problems when in doing things to me or making me do things that you are in doing all things in a purity of your pleasures and desires and not out of obligation or thinking it is payment for services rendered.

Intensity counts big time!


Look there are many of severe power exchange relationships out there that have relatively little or no “kinky” things done in them. Look at Domestic Discipline sites and see this. Often they go out of the way to even put spanking far above suspicion to even call it a kinky thing. But I guarantee you one thing in any of these relationships that are healthy with both people embracing the power exchange dynamic and that is there are things happening that have intensity that highlight that dynamic especially in regards to that base of I am the dominant and I we will do this if I want to. (Of course within boundaries)

Pain punishments, maintenance spankings, discipline sessions, jumping through proverbial hoops for our other are not about frequency and intensity of orgasms for a submissive in the moment. There is very much the same level of things going on when kinky things are in a relationship and even when they are more for pleasure they still have aspect of all this in them when being done.

Rewards for me are not having to live with someone that thinks rewards are important motivations in a relationship in the first place.

We get what we put into our lives. To want a slave that is driven out of love for their owner and love/needs to put their owners desires and needs first is to understand the big drive of are whole life with the power exchange dynamic is to eliminate transactional payments for services rendered in our relationships. We are controlled by our love for our owner and the way we live with you which is power exchange and dominance over us.


Looking for a slave by offering up kink for obedience is transactional with the exact same connotation of a couple in a regular relationship. It is not any different of a woman wanting her husband to be ok for the in laws to come to visit and blows him and fixes his favorite dinner right before “asking” him. It is a man taking his wife out to dinner and dancing before asking if he can go on an expensive golf weekend over a holiday.

You may get what you want in the moment but does not mean you are getting what you want in the long term. Slaves read dominating things done primarily as a reward and immediately dismiss them as a potential owner.