To Each Their Own

I was reading a blog that I normally read and in about ten minutes had clicked on a blog they had read and then clicked on a blog that person reads. I write this because in the end I have no idea where I ended up when I came upon a blog entry that gave me great pause.

This particular entry the woman wrote that her Master/husband of ten plus years has decided she needs to concentrate more on being a better slave and has been too distracted by life. So her Master decided to cut off a significant amount of access to life like preventing her from driving, limiting time on the Internet and other isolating type things. My initial reaction and I am guessing most is look out this sounds really bad and then it hit me, I was being a hypocrite.

Perspective, to each their own and consensual non consent

I was a big old hypocrite because my mind kept thinking “red flag!” when reading this slave’s blog entry. But while what she wrote for a new relationship would be a red flag to be very concerned with she was not in a new relationship but a ten year one and from everything I read in her blog a quite happy one. So who the hell was I to form my opinion.

What I did is a human frailty that is common and can often lead to not getting things, judging others and bouts of extreme hubris. What I did was take what they were doing in their relationships and not bothering to see it how they saw it but how I would react if it was in my own. I would bet each and everyone of you who reads this that if you spent twenty-four hours and took every reaction you have toward something you heard or saw someone say or do wrote it down and took it to an independent third party they would say most of it was only your opinion and no fact in it at all. It could very well be any more credible then mere gossip.

For one to think how yucky one topping on a pizza is and find out their favorite is yucky to the other person. For a teacher to look at a mortician and think how the heck they can do what they do but the mortician might be thinking the same things toward the teacher.

So here I was for several seconds and maybe minutes thinking how severe her relationship truly was and if that was ok. Yet here I am in a pretty severe M/s relationship in which I want my face slapped if my focus and mood is not where it should be for my Master or how I am strongly attracted to people with domineering personalities that most run from. I would not want my sanity or how I live my life questioned so I should not be questioning hers without any actual facts. Because in the end all I was doing is filtering my creative thoughts through a few things she mentioned.

We are not all alike

I could never be in a D/s relationship. I cannot imagine how one goes turning power exchange on and off depending on some basis like specific thing and mutual right place and time type things that can be so overlapping and inconsistent. Many submissives cannot imagine what an M/s total power exchange relationship where the power to control someone is always there or at least available. But many of us are often guilty of thinking not only can we imagine it we think we know a lot about it from some of the tiniest clues and information presented. We are also guilty of this when comparing relationships that are personal in nature when comparing what we think is equal types such as a slave to another slave.

But we are not only not all alike, we are not close in most cases. Yet we tend to imagine and judge based on the fact that others are just like us. Sometimes when reading blogs, message boards or talking to people out in your local community it can be beneficial to take a step back to remind oneself that they are not you and therefore might not have your personality, interests, preferences and on and on. When someone does something that could be with other facts be bad and dangerous do not assume the other bad facts are automatically there.

It is far easier to casually say or write “to each there own” in a theoretical way but for many the real life specific situations we have trouble doing just that. This woman’s blog that I referred to was a stark reminder that I was not immune to such thoughts.