Reading between the lines

Just felt like a little blow off steam but tried to pull it off with a lame message. Comes out a little too mean spirited on the person I use, but you really have to know this person.

Often when we rush into something or wish for something we ignore all warning signs and things end up biting us on the butt. I know a certain Mistress personally from over a decade ago, my how time flies. I see her pop up on all the message boards. Now I have referred to her in this blog as my favorite fake dominant because she has enough theoretical knowledge, experience of some nature and is active in local and even wider national community to look legit but underneath the outer coating is a major does not get it person.

Anyway I was reading her profile and just had one belly laugh after another. She has actually grown in many ways since I last knew her and her personal life but the growth is still that classic fit wishes and preferences backward into an M/s philosophy. Here are some lines I am paraphrasing but not distorting.

I am a poly Mistress. I am looking for two to three slaves that are service oriented in nature. I consider myself hetro-flexible although I prefer males but will consider an outstanding female. I expect my slaves to understand that a good slave is only concerned about obeying my orders, directions and pleasing me. A slave should only add to a home and not detract from one.

I do expect you to maintain full time employment. I am not insane and know that depending on the number of slaves living with me that with full time employment that sometimes you will not be able to do all the duties required of a good slave. I am willing then to do things although I will do only the ones that least bother me.

I am not into punishments as good slaves should have self discipline and a work ethic. I will reward slaves in the kinky things for outstanding work. I do require you to initiate sex but always respecting no and not to ever harass me about it.

Now I will break this down and with my personal knowledge of her and my former owners who know her all too well and have known her and many and I mean many of the men who fooled themselves thinking she was a Mistress. I will decode these words. I will be honest I will guess most of you can decode these words without knowing her.

I am a poly Mistress. I am looking for two to three slaves that are service oriented in nature. – After twenty years of looking for a slave that would put up with me not lifting a finger I am now deeming myself poly and seeing if multiple slaves will add up to me not lifting a finger or any effort toward my slaves.

I consider myself hetro-flexible although I prefer males but will consider an outstanding female. – I was totally straight until I turned forty. In fact I use to make degrading comments and was quite the homophobe including lesbians. But I really hate lifting a finger at home and if a female can help with that I will consider it. But she will never be recognized other then a friend that lives there at best.

I expect my slaves to understand that a good slave is only concerned about obeying my orders, directions and pleasing me. A slave should only add to a home and not detract from one. – Seriously I am warning you I do not engage or go out of my way for other people including people I want to live with. Do not expect me to visit your parents with you, go to a wedding with you unless it is for someone I know and just in general no demands of my time just because we are in a relationship.

I do expect you to maintain full time employment. – Please all losers calling yourselves slaves as a way not to work, forget about it.

I am not insane and know that depending on the number of slaves living with me that with full time employment that sometimes you will not be able to do all the duties required of a good slave. – I tried this for a long time and this seemed to be a big issue as it seems a good slave willing to work full time, do all domestic work, do landscaping and major house improvement projects is just a myth. I have now accepted I maybe should get multiple mediocre slaves so all the work gets done.

I am willing then to do things although I will do only the ones that least bother me. – If at anytime all I could get was one slave, I am now willing to do a few things in order to make sure they do not bolt on me. What has happen to this world?


I am not into punishments as good slaves should have self discipline and a work ethic. I will reward slaves in the kinky things for outstanding work. – I really have absolutely zero interest in anything kinky and do not get even the most basic elements of power exchange. I have several things I am an expert at but please understand that my only interest in learning them was so I can demonstrate and preach in local communities to have some needed street cred to try to fool them. I have not learned anything new in over a decade and never ever attend/paid close attention to someone else’s demonstrations and seminars. I am a narcissist and do not have time for those lowly people unless they compliment me or make me feel better then them and I place them well above my slaves although I will never admit it.

I do require you to initiate sex as I will not but always respecting no and not to ever harass me about it. – This is how desperate I have become. In lieu of one real and true slave I now have to offer the hope of sex just to get one to talk to me. I really am completely asexual and I am not even sure I will give you anything more then a hand job once a year. But I have gone through all the males in my local community and have gained the reputation of no sex ever and that seems to be a major stumbling block. I mean I do not get it, in all my local community involvement and message board activity I get on my ordained great big pedestal and constantly preach practically in every breath how sex has nothing to do with the power exchange life and slaves should only have one desire and that is to please their owner. I mean every time people talk about sex I am often there to brow beat them with my latest intellectualized theory that dismisses the importance of and need of sex that I strung together alone in my house after getting dumped again. People should have learned and seen the light by now! But no they have not and now I have to resort to pretending sex will be in the relationship. Can you imagine just how hot that sex will be if it does happen?

Yes, this was mean spirited. I could make up some noble reasons as evidence for my points but I will leave it as is. Yes, you can also make the case for plenty of codes words and phrases for submissives and even break them out by gender. In fact that was what I wanted to do with this post but clearly wanted to rip this woman instead, maybe in a future post I will get to those.

Sometimes the clues are not really hidden that deep

Often people have to wait a long time to find someone that might interest them and the person is interested in them back. Often we can grow frustrated and start becoming too hopeful or willing to try to get anyone after awhile that remotely fits. But that is where trouble can start.

On paper this women at first glance can look ok. Experienced so one might think she is serious and knows what she is doing. Does offer kink and sex and does not come straight out and say no to these things or asks for money and tribute. Does not come out and clearly indicate only wanting free labor. Even blowing by the need the man to initiate sex can quickly be justified as she likes sometimes to feel more like a woman and get seduced. So I can see why so many male submissives have made the mistake in hoping this woman could be their Mistress.


But if you do step back and question the language it is all right there. Hetro-flexible basically means, not that all who use it would agree, that one of the sexes really does not do it for me but I can be sexual with them if it fits the relationship. That should say why does she open to the female as she is not married it is just her and she also writes strongly prefers men. It means she want stuff done for her. It truly is a red flag whenever a dominant communicate a slave should only be concerned for their owner’s desires and nothing else. That can really only mean a selfish inconsiderate person or a clueless does not get it, so do not toss that out when you read it thinking standard life cliché. It should be a giant clue that she will not initiate sex. Think about it, a dominant wanting a 24/7 slave. If she had a sex drive she would at least sometimes initiate sex, even women slaves and regular women initiate sex from time to time. Do not get lost on thinking well she did say she would put out. You’re a slave how much do you want to have sex with a person who will clearly express not wanting to?

So instead of wasting time and becoming burned out and frustrated by chasing anything, whether live or in cyber save the time and energy and choose who will be best for you and not what you just hope might be a fit. Read or listen to the words they will leave al the clues you need if you look at them close enough and objective enough.