Demystifying Sadism

Whenever sadism is discussed in this life it is often surprisingly how many definitions one could come up with by the responses. But peeking back once you removed fear, prejudicial preferences and dictionary dynamos it is not really a confusing topic. The topic just gets confused because it is a powerful word that makes sometimes even the most “experienced” amongst us tread carefully or sometimes unfortunately gives a platform of self promoters who can uses the built in fear the word has.

One of the problems is the word sadism is pretty universally thought of as a bad word so people even in this life run from the word. When I first got into this life the first thing that I think stunned me the most when talking about the life was just how politically correct most people approach it. To discuss sadism most of the time you will get either the sociopath definition or you get the romantic version of a top doing it for a pain slut (masochistic). Well there are things in between and when in the context of total power exchange sadism can bring much to the table if an owner is a sadist in some way and the slave is either masochistic and/or has a power fetish.

The following below is just a few vague definitions/labels to see where sadism rangers in this life. I do not separate physical and emotional sadism. They can appeal to different people and be limits as well. I preach that because you do one does not make the other more dangerous if it is a limit and therefore do not separate them.

Sadism types

1) Sociopath Like – People who enjoy inflicting pain and do not care if it is consensual or what damage it is causing. Obviously have nothing to do with the power exchange life although many who are not into sadism would like to convince most this is what makes up all sadists.

2) Sadism Fetish – People who enjoy inflicting pain and seeing the others reaction and do not care if the other enjoys it and maybe enjoys it more if they do not. These people are loving and caring people who have no desire to inflict pain on a person who does not give their consent.

3) Sensual Sadists – The most common way dominants define themselves in power exchange life. They ONLY enjoy inflicting pain on someone if the other person enjoys it (masochistic). Then they enjoy both the pain and the reaction of the other. I think if you spend enough time in local communities or try to get in good at some Chat/message board site most dominants will call themselves this. I personally do not believe all are like this and some are from #2 but to fit in and not be looked upon in disdain or just in self denial adopt this definition.

4) Top Sadists – Like #2 few admit this one then there actually are. These are people that really get no pleasure from inflicting pain but enjoy seeing the masochists enjoy their time and if in a power exchange relationship enjoy the benefits of a happy and disciplined slave.

5) Got to do what you got to do – Just people willing to give pain for discipline and punishment in a power exchange relationship because that works best for the people involved and dynamic. Not really sadists but have the ability to actually give pain.

What can sadism bring to the table in a significant power exchange relationship?

1) The more we like something the more we want to do it – For most in any significant power exchange relationship the submissive partner probably enjoys on some level pleasing their dominant. But in addition to this they enjoy submissive levels and the more intensive things done in terms of play or active domination the deeper the submissive level we feel and keep for longer stretches. Pain being inflicted on us is intense and will deepen submissive level. That is what goes on when you here submissive people in strictly domestic discipline relationships feel off or in strong need of a maintenance spanking. Not the pain but the way it makes them feel afterwards is the need. Being paired with a sadist can be more opportunity to benefit in this way.

2) Masochistic Pleasure – Pretty self explanatory. If you are masochistic having a partner into sadism is going to be pretty important. Many dominants will be capable of inflicting pain as that is something most learn they have to do in some way at the minimum when learning about the life. But if a slave is truly into receiving pain and you find yourself with a person not really into it but have done it to please you the odds are good it will taper off or always be a issue that is brought up by the slave and that can lead to problems.

3) Power is the fetish – I wrote extensively in the hypertext link if one wants to read about this in a whole blog entry. But this is what I would arrogantly guess is a vast majority of submissives who call themselves slaves and live in significant power exchange relationships have this particular attraction. For me personally I have it obnoxiously so. I lust after being dominated and being dominated by doing things I enjoy and want to do anyway is not domination. So the dichotomy of pleasure my Master gets from doing something or seeing me suffer by doing something I hate is just pure carnal and emotional bliss. Because I am owned by a man who gets turned on by inflicting pain without needing my pleasure and enjoys that I am not getting pleasure is an awesome compatibility thing with us. I suffer and get a deeper submissive level. He smiles and gets aroused and we have ourselves a mutual life is awesome time.

Sadism is not bad

I do not think anything I have written has been earth shattering or controversial. But I did want to do my part in promoting sadism in a more honest way and for the sadists out there that often have to hide their personal enjoyment of inflicting pain on someone that it is ok to be public about this. There are plenty of women out there like me that absolutely go nuts for a man that can get off by making us suffer and sadism of some type is quite awesome.

Please instead of only handling the polar ends of the discussion that we normally limit the discussion to in public know that those are not the only two options. That you do not have to play what would you like slave to inflict pain or be locked up in prison or a mental health facility. That you know there are plenty of slaves whether masochistic or not that enjoy a dominant and takes tremendous pleasure to suffer for the dominant’s pleasure in inflicting pain.