Domination and Submission: Two distinct things!

This is perhaps my biggest pet peeve when people discuss this life. There is an absolute obsession in terms of the focus is way too centered on a slave’s obedience as the main factor in M/s. That submissive means obey and a Master basically is about knowing how to use his toys and training his slave to his preference.

Where I have a profile and post on a message board I have had up to fifty women write me privately in response to how I view the need to be dominated and what it encompasses. I will probably write a detail of this sometime later but in summary a Master must dominate me. A Master forces his will and desires on me. A Master indulges in his pleasures without remorse. A Master cares about the big picture about my needs and happiness but does not worry about them in a moment.

Vanilla example: He picks the movie we are going to see period. He may consider my opinion and he may choose a movie he does not care for but knows I really want to see but the choice is up to him and him only. There is no keeping score or attitude allowed by me if I do not get my preference. There is not just cosmetic play of pretend power where he makes the decision but the decision is always based on what a regular couple would normally do.

Kink example: I do not have a masochistic bone in my body. My Master is very much a sadist. When he decides to inflict pain on me it is simply because he feels like it. There is no goal of sub space or orgasms for me but only his reasons and goals. My body is his to do whatever he likes to it not play time is mutual fun time. To inflict pain may, mark me, and make me cry and scream for his desire and pleasure dominates me to the very core. The need and long term thrill of it is that he does things to me with no thought or care about my pleasure. He takes because he has the absolute right. I suffer to please him, show my devotion and zealot commitment to the way we want our life to be lived. The moments suck, the long term effects are amazing for me.

That is some examples and talk on domination. The women who have written me all go yes that is me and can you actually find a Master who understands and does that. Of course the answer is yes, but it is rare. So here is some vital information to all dominants out there who desire a slave, submissive with slave tendencies and any other way you want to describe a severe power exchange relationship:

DOMINATION AND SUBMISSION ARE TWO VERY DIFFERENT THINGS THAT WORK TOGETHER!

Women like me that have submissive personalities and are submissive in our relationships in the first place. We are not seeking out severe power exchange relationship just because of these submissive feelings. We all can live very regular lives and have are submissive nature taken care of. We all have whether in a power exchange relationship or not in the past dressed in ways our other found attractive. We all have done domestic things without complaint. We all have put out in whatever way and whenever the person we care for wanted us. We all have obeyed or inquired what our other was wanting from us. There are people all over the world with significant submissive personalities living healthy and happy lives in regular type relationships.

The reason most if not all women who enjoy severe power exchange relationships are looking for Masters is because they want/need to fell dominated both physically and mentally in their lives. Domination is effort, leadership and energy that the dominant actively brings to the relationship. It is about forcing your will and desires on your slave without concern for theirs in the immediate nature within the scope of the relationship and not just about getting your slave to obey and punish if they disobey!

Being dominant is not just about training a submissive to the way you want them to behave and do things how and when you want them. It is not just train and punish if a mistake. It is not just about if your submissive is obedient or not. Failures, mistakes and attitude issues are not always or even mostly about the submissive not getting it, screwing up or not submissive enough.

Many dominants who are looking for a slave and become obsesses about a slave being obedient or what you think an obedient slave is and go on to basically think as a dominant that all you need to do is train to your specification and punish if a mistake happens. All of you who are dismissive about all kinks or treat them as sexual fun or just rewards and having more then one rule (obey) is for losers because you are a natural dominant. For all of you like this, there is a reason why you cannot find a person who is sincere into severe power exchange you are bringing very little to the table. A woman like me needs to be dominated and that takes more then setting up guidelines and just thinking a slave only needs to please and see her Master happy.

There will be some that think I just described a slave who requires too much work and to those I go nice try. By no means what I just wrote infers that conscious domination needs to be done constantly or even daily. But it is about over all attitude, direction and actions.

I will close with examples between domination and guiding your submissive. I repeat not that guiding your submissive is not a significant part of these relationships but not all just a part. So is domination!

Giving you slave guidelines to how you want her to dress is guiding a submissive (GAS).
Picking out exactly what you want her to wear is an act of domination (AOD).

Teaching your slave to inquire if you would like something or if she can give you a blow job while you are watching a game on TV is GAS.
To grab her and shove her head to your cock and throat fuck her until you cum and then dismiss her without much acknowledgment is an AOD.

Giving her rules about talking on the phone to friends in general is GAS.
When on the phone telling her to get off immediately is an AOD.

Playing in the dungeon where you are overly concerned or try to make sure your slave gets to sub space or sexually pleased in a way is too people having fun with kink.
Inflicting pain and/or putting your slave in bondage and not giving a damn if this time is pleasurable or not it is all about you is an AOD.

In fact the key for me personally is knowing my Master is indulging in what he wants and not doing things because he thinks I want him to. So the more powerful, overt, painful and disgusting things done to me knowing they do not bring me pleasure by themselves are all very strong acts of domination. To me mainly because if I know he can do these things to me for whatever reason I know all the smaller things are done for that reason and makes all the wonderful things he does do just for me more pure and special!