Leap Part Two: From part time to 24/7

Infatuation and having an on/off switch

So you are currently in a great relationship whether you are dating someone or you are a couple that has introduced aspects of power exchange into your life together. The goal though is for you to take it 24/7 which can often be way more troubling then it seems. Once again there is a leap to be taken!

The gap between part time and 24/7 is large because it operates on a whole different mental level. Think about it. When you are dating someone you know when the next date is. You can spend time up to that date thinking about what will or might happen. Our minds get mentally prepared for a short term. Even if the “date” last days and you are a slave the whole time your brain is functioning on some level that come the end you have some or all of your power back. In addition to this why are we even thinking of going 24/7 at this moment? One of the reasons is because we are in that infatuation/love stage were their mere presence makes our pussy’s wet and our heart’s go pitter batter and just even thinking of them releases the warm fuzzies.

Established couples much of this is the same thing. You have started something new and exciting in your life that obviously from your consideration of going to 24/7 has gone quite well. But so far situations have been just those situations. Maybe most of the power exchange situations have been bedroom only, negotiated times and things or a trial period run lets say on some or many weekends. Just like a couple getting to know each other your reactions are also going through the excitement of the newness and your brain has usually had time to prepare for what you are expecting to come. You still always have the safety of that thought that you go back to basic normal when the clock strikes a time.

24/7 means never having a start or stop time

Thoughts of 24/7 often come in two forms.

Often the over romanticize thoughts are the ones we like to focus on. These are the thoughts and feelings that I normally describe as taking feelings and behaviors from the just before, during and after of the more direct acts of domination done on us. These can be in the range from the mundane to a quite intense scene or act. The thought though that can get planted is that these deep level of submissive feelings and how this often deepens our other feelings like our love and pleasure with our dominant can be felt 24/7!

The other form is thoughts of 24/7 start to seep into our brains on a deeper level. Now instead of thinking about it when we are experiencing the warm fuzzies we start to think about it during normal activities and thoughts. This starts to scare us. We think what if my owner will no longer let me do this or do that. What if I cannot handle doing something particular every single day? All of a sudden the worse case scenarios start to appear in our head.

Irrationality of these thoughts

Well the thought of the permanent high of submissive feeling is of course a drug that does not exist. Since this is a post on making the difficult leap and people who fall to hard for this thought often leap way too easily and ignorantly that writing about this is for another time.

Now the worrisome thoughts about going to 24/7 can be healthy or cause paralysis in one’s desires and goals. Here is the reality of life. Look at any type of relationship throughout time and no matter where on earth you will see couples doing the same things only who and how they are done. Now think when you are with your other when you are on have they changed into different human beings when in the more regular aspects of life. I would hope no. I am guessing if hanging out on weekends you are having plenty of normal conversations, having some regular social activities and a whole bunch of other regular moments.

This is because even in a total power exchange relationship regular life happens. Now not to say there cannot be twists or changes in the details of these regular day to day things but in the end the person you have gotten to know, hopefully, is the person who will now own you 24/7. How they are, their interests, how they treat you, their goals and the other vital compatibilities do not get changed.

So to go to 24/7 should just have the same thought process of going 24/7 in any other type of relationship. A person to move to 24/7 should be sold on all aspects of the person they are with and not just the submissive feeling one is left with when in their other’s presence.

The thought processes that do have to be overcome

By far the number one thought process when dealing with making the leap is what I am going to lose by doing it. Obviously the positive things for the most part are not stopping us from leaping so that does leave the negative ones.

Instead of some generic words I thought I would just type out some thoughts that have popped into my head or have heard as fairly common ones and simple thoughts on those thoughts.

“What if they want me to no longer or limit my time with friends and family?” – Well have you discussed this? For most of us if they went “oh by the way, now you cannot see this person [insert close family member or friend]” before at anytime we would have gone in our mind big red flag. Now for some people that have people in our lives that are truly bad influences and someone who cares for us might be able to lead us away from them. But this should have nothing to do with power exchange. Time with others should be something you have talked about and have a compatibility with.

“Will I ever get personal time and have time for my interests?” – This is one I have heard a lot. Again we are talking compatibility. Some couples desire all personal time to be together. Some couples only see each other at bed time. Most of us like something in between those two polar opposites. You should before ever going 24/7 have some idea that both of you have compatibility in this area. You as a slave can be independent and have a bunch of interests but best find an owner who enjoys doing his own thing as well. Just like if you think we means we in most things, better find one who feels the same way.

Now I will introduce you to a term I use often and that is cyber theorist. These are people who with no real experience in long term power exchange relationships will write poetically that a slave is this and that. Often these theorists will spin a belief that even when the two people are not together or any number of situations that a slave should only be about pleasing their owner. They will mention taking classes to improve your service and having you develop a mind set where thinking about and doing things to make your owner’s life easier and pleasurable is 24/7. Let’s be realistic here. That is simply insane and a zealot over romanticized thought. I mean really could you imagine a life between two people where the other has no thoughts and desires except one! Does that sound sane?

Pleasing your owner is our number one desire otherwise how can we really be consensual slaves? It is though just one desire in a human being that is made up of many. Reality is you can spend a great deal of time when away from your owner in ways to improve yourself in your service if your owner desired or you yourself chose to in your allowed free time. I have taken classes in massage, cooking and even stripping. In fact I was a I hate cooking person until I took my first cooking class and since then it has become a very pleasurable interest for me. Even when I was taking these classes I was going to work full time and still was not sacrificing my time serving my Master nor had no other personal time.

“What is he makes me throw out all my comfortable underwear for none or uncomfortable ones?” – Well what if they do? Is that the end of your world, I think not. Again reality and motivation comes into play. Maybe he wants you to wear only thongs and you have found them uncomfortable in the past. My questions to you would be two. 1) How much effort in the past had you tried getting use to them? 2) How serious are you about M/s life or is really just about your convenience in the short term? The reality of this situation is a good slave should be able to try their best at things directed at us. This is very important; a slave must learn to identify things that have very little affected on us in the bigger picture when taken out immediate feelings. Because you tried wearing thongs for a couple of days years ago or only wear them on special occasions does not mean you have tried at all to get use to them. So why not try to please your Master by making an actual strong effort to get use to them. Now, after a long time they still cause a bad result from you then communicate that with your owner and see what can be changed.

This last example sounds lame on the surface but has everything to do with thoughts and fears of going forward. The question that a slave needs to often ask themselves when confronting troubling feelings is often very simple “What does it really matter if this is done or this happens this way?” I cannot begin to tell you how much clutter in our brains and feelings as a slave turns out to be totally useless and counter productive to our service and happiness by not realizing that an awful lot of things we do on a day to day basis have just not much importance or impact in terms of the how’s and when’s.

Conclusion

If a person is struggling with making the leap of going from part time to 24/7 I offer these points to think about:

1) You do have the right to change your mind. As a couple if the dominant will only do 24/7 then whether you can handle it or not is compatibility not failure. Any thoughts about long term negative impact should be thought about as your own mental issues and if you fear such a thing then that is pause for thought and not just about the relationship.

2) 24/7 should be thought about in all aspects of a relationship in addition to the power exchange. To go 24/7 you should want to go 24/7 in all other aspects just like any other type of relationship.

3) Be realistic about what you are feeling. The submissive high you get from moments does not last in 24/7. You should have some experience or make time to experience serving when not on some emotional high. You will be cooking and cleaning when tired and in a bad mood. You will have to put out or give blow jobs when not in the mood or when you are in the middle of something. Know you want and can be happy serving when he has not read your mind or high on love.

4) Talk things out in detail. Sit down with your other at a mundane time and feeling and not pillow talk after something blissful. Talk about what they see what they will control you in terms of day to day control, demands and changes.

5) Try mundane practice runs. Forget about being a slave 24/7 on a weekend. Try doing it for a week when both of you are working and see how that goes. Go a week without any kink things or even any sex and see how the power exchange aspects work for both of you.

In the end, the leap is different as the feelings, activities, time and anticipation can be drastically different. But the motivations and overall feeling we get as slaves though does remain and flourish. I know for me the best way I processed it was that I was running toward something instead of running from something. That made me make the leap with confidence and zealot effort.