Eye of the Beholder

When they look at me what do they see?

I received several private Emails as well as over the years of having people argue about slaves/submissives are primarily about serving and taking care of the NEEDS of their owner. Maybe this comes with experience but spotting a dominant who wants a person or a dominant who wants things done for them is pathetically easy to spot. The former have every right and expectation that taking ownership of a slave who has committed to them that the slave accepts and dedicates themselves to serving them in all aspects and not just the fun ones. The latter is just bartering for services instead of just paying money.

We do not think much of a trophy wife who only is with her husband because of his money so she does not have to work and spends her life on endless shopping excursions and spa treatments. Instead of working for money she spreads her legs to finance her life. We do not think much of a husband who only thinks of his wife as a domestic servant and perpetual baby sitter for his children and seeks all his fun and excitement with his friends and women on the side. So why would any dominant think they are worth anything when all they see when they see a potential slave is how easier their life can be with that slave?

I had a friend in a local community years ago when we were both possibly looking for a poly power exchange relationship. I think she communicated it perfectly and the best advice I can give both roles and genders in distinguishing the line that too many get burned by. She basically said “I need to know when they look at me they see and want me as a person and the good things we will do together. I do not want to be seen as a free servant and personal assistant primarily to make their lives easier”

For all the couples, even the ones in long term power exchange relationships, and single people obsessed about finding that “true” slave who is all about serving the needs of their owner(s) and all other things are bonuses. If your thought or conversation with your other about finding a slave started with something like it would surely be nice if there was another person here to help out or do all the domestic work, help with the finances, spoil me and thoughts of that nature you are not capable of a healthy power exchange relationship when bringing in someone.

For all roles and genders, if one is getting basic needs done that they would prefer not to do for themselves and rewards/pays the submissive back with kinky things this is not power exchange. This is barter instead of paying cash for services rendered. These are relationships like any other and when any other person saw their other primarily for how they will make their life easier we look down at them and this is why potential slaves often look down on dominants that obsess or only want the serving component with a slave. At some point a potential slave learns that when you look at them you do not see a person to care for and enjoy things together but see them only as an object to make your life easier.

I will communicate this to my death. A slave does not serve and put their owner’s desires above their own to be happy. A happy slave needs to serve and put their owner’s desires above their own. A slave is not a whore/servant payable in kink instead of cash.