Obedience is not difficult

Ok that is something of a trick statement. The fact is being a slave and being obedient is not something that should be a day to day struggle. The problem is for us to overcome our previous programming to make obeying second nature.

How our brain has been trained

Our brain has been trained to make decisions all day long. When making these decisions often the criteria is based on our head making judgments in what is best. Whether what is best for me or what is the best way to go about this. The end results of this process is over time we have become experts in our own mind in what, how and when on everything that goes on in our lives.

I know for myself and many slaves or would be slaves this is often where difficulties appear when we start serving on a severe level. We have to start dealing with many day to day things and situations that come from another person in guidelines, direct orders and timetables. The struggle with obedience comes from having to often deal with the fact that their brain has done the judgment of what is best when making these decisions and that can often, even if it is minimal in impact, conflict with how our brain processes the same thing.

Part of human frailty is we are prone to constant judgments of right and wrong. So often when our owner’s orders conflict with how we have normally done we can fail to recognize it as just being different but can be prone to judge it as wrong. Let me give a very tame example as not to color the discussion, a slave might have always in the past put the orange juice in a certain place in the refrigerator but now their owner wants it in another place and the slave mind starts thinking how stupid is the new place and can they not realize how easier it would be if it was left where I have always put it. Then to start to rationalize a slave might be disobedient and keep it in the same place because they are the one to get it out of the refrigerator anyway.

I clearly want to obey my owner how come I cannot change my thoughts so easily

I believe we have three levels of desires that affect decision making in our day to day actions:

1) Long term: These are desires we have made decisions for ourselves that we make effort accomplishing over long stretches. Example like what career to have, if a person decides to become a doctor they have then made the decision of how hard they will study, understand most of their twenties will be used for this and other things.

2) Intermediate: These are decisions we make for desires that affect things we do but on a shorter nature, like weeks and days. Example like having friends over for dinner in four days, we have now made a decision to clean our house, go grocery shopping and other things in the days to come until the dinner.

3) Short term: These are desires of the moment. Example, do I want to watch this program or that program. They are in the moment decisions that have no affect on the intermediate and long term desires you have.

Most people who are “bad” decision makers are not that they cannot make good decisions in a vacuum but they make decisions with the wrong filter process. So instead of filtering from long, intermediate to short they often start with short term only to find out that screwed up intermediate and sometimes long term.

So what has this have to do with slaves struggling with obedience?

Because as slaves we have pretty much given over our short term decision making and often struggle early on with this very fact.

Look at it this way from a slave/relationship standpoint in the stages of desires:

1) Long term – We want to be in a healthy and loving relationship that is power exchange based.
2) Intermediate – We want to see, hear and experience our owner being happy and enjoying pleasure of using us how they want and we have agreed to. We want to receive their love back in ways we ourselves like to receive love back. We obey our owner to show our commitment to them and the dynamic.
3) Short term – We follow our orders and rules in order to avoid punishment. We do things even if we do not like doing them by using our feelings for our owner and this often represents our devotion to him.

Most of the time we struggle with obeying is because we have focused too hard on short term decision issues while ignoring or failing to connect these very decisions have a major impact on the intermediate and long term desires which are exponentially more important to us.

What can be done to retrain our minds?

In the end time and effort will usually win out. But in moments where we struggle, have doubt or start to have angry or negative feelings about what is being asked of us there are some easy things to do.

1) Ask yourself what difference does it make? It is simply astonishing how many decisions we make based on preferences or in the moment desires that have actual no impact in our lives. Does it really make a difference if you fix dinner a different way? Does it matter if you prefer to put away the laundry before you do something else?

2) Ask yourself are you obsessing over the short term and ignoring the intermediate and long term desires. If he orders you to wear shoes that make your feet hurt. Do you think just about that or think if it makes him happy and he is taking me out to dinner and who knows what else what is the big deal of a few hours of my feet hurting? If he wants you to primarily where dresses but you have traditionally worn pants. Is taking the time to get adjusted to the difference too much trouble for you when in the intermediate and long term it will be nicer for him and eventually you will adjust?

3) Concentrate on thinking I enjoy and need his love and acts of love and love him very much. I may not like or even hate doing this but doing this will show him my love and devotion to him which is a very important act of love he needs.

Conclusion

On the mundane items of life obeying often is about focusing on ignoring our short term thoughts and judgments. The more demanding things that we struggle on the better we focus and obey the more we show our devotion and love for our owner. Anyone can do things they do not mind when they want to do them. To do things, do things a different way and things when another wants not our preference is where we build the foundation that makes our long term desires happen.

Obedience is not hard if we learn to stop judging what needs not be judged. We stop worrying about single moments and focus on the bigger picture. If we do that, obedience not only becomes easier it can become bliss.

Domination and Submission: Two distinct things!

This is perhaps my biggest pet peeve when people discuss this life. There is an absolute obsession in terms of the focus is way too centered on a slave’s obedience as the main factor in M/s. That submissive means obey and a Master basically is about knowing how to use his toys and training his slave to his preference.

Where I have a profile and post on a message board I have had up to fifty women write me privately in response to how I view the need to be dominated and what it encompasses. I will probably write a detail of this sometime later but in summary a Master must dominate me. A Master forces his will and desires on me. A Master indulges in his pleasures without remorse. A Master cares about the big picture about my needs and happiness but does not worry about them in a moment.

Vanilla example: He picks the movie we are going to see period. He may consider my opinion and he may choose a movie he does not care for but knows I really want to see but the choice is up to him and him only. There is no keeping score or attitude allowed by me if I do not get my preference. There is not just cosmetic play of pretend power where he makes the decision but the decision is always based on what a regular couple would normally do.

Kink example: I do not have a masochistic bone in my body. My Master is very much a sadist. When he decides to inflict pain on me it is simply because he feels like it. There is no goal of sub space or orgasms for me but only his reasons and goals. My body is his to do whatever he likes to it not play time is mutual fun time. To inflict pain may, mark me, and make me cry and scream for his desire and pleasure dominates me to the very core. The need and long term thrill of it is that he does things to me with no thought or care about my pleasure. He takes because he has the absolute right. I suffer to please him, show my devotion and zealot commitment to the way we want our life to be lived. The moments suck, the long term effects are amazing for me.

That is some examples and talk on domination. The women who have written me all go yes that is me and can you actually find a Master who understands and does that. Of course the answer is yes, but it is rare. So here is some vital information to all dominants out there who desire a slave, submissive with slave tendencies and any other way you want to describe a severe power exchange relationship:

DOMINATION AND SUBMISSION ARE TWO VERY DIFFERENT THINGS THAT WORK TOGETHER!

Women like me that have submissive personalities and are submissive in our relationships in the first place. We are not seeking out severe power exchange relationship just because of these submissive feelings. We all can live very regular lives and have are submissive nature taken care of. We all have whether in a power exchange relationship or not in the past dressed in ways our other found attractive. We all have done domestic things without complaint. We all have put out in whatever way and whenever the person we care for wanted us. We all have obeyed or inquired what our other was wanting from us. There are people all over the world with significant submissive personalities living healthy and happy lives in regular type relationships.

The reason most if not all women who enjoy severe power exchange relationships are looking for Masters is because they want/need to fell dominated both physically and mentally in their lives. Domination is effort, leadership and energy that the dominant actively brings to the relationship. It is about forcing your will and desires on your slave without concern for theirs in the immediate nature within the scope of the relationship and not just about getting your slave to obey and punish if they disobey!

Being dominant is not just about training a submissive to the way you want them to behave and do things how and when you want them. It is not just train and punish if a mistake. It is not just about if your submissive is obedient or not. Failures, mistakes and attitude issues are not always or even mostly about the submissive not getting it, screwing up or not submissive enough.

Many dominants who are looking for a slave and become obsesses about a slave being obedient or what you think an obedient slave is and go on to basically think as a dominant that all you need to do is train to your specification and punish if a mistake happens. All of you who are dismissive about all kinks or treat them as sexual fun or just rewards and having more then one rule (obey) is for losers because you are a natural dominant. For all of you like this, there is a reason why you cannot find a person who is sincere into severe power exchange you are bringing very little to the table. A woman like me needs to be dominated and that takes more then setting up guidelines and just thinking a slave only needs to please and see her Master happy.

There will be some that think I just described a slave who requires too much work and to those I go nice try. By no means what I just wrote infers that conscious domination needs to be done constantly or even daily. But it is about over all attitude, direction and actions.

I will close with examples between domination and guiding your submissive. I repeat not that guiding your submissive is not a significant part of these relationships but not all just a part. So is domination!

Giving you slave guidelines to how you want her to dress is guiding a submissive (GAS).
Picking out exactly what you want her to wear is an act of domination (AOD).

Teaching your slave to inquire if you would like something or if she can give you a blow job while you are watching a game on TV is GAS.
To grab her and shove her head to your cock and throat fuck her until you cum and then dismiss her without much acknowledgment is an AOD.

Giving her rules about talking on the phone to friends in general is GAS.
When on the phone telling her to get off immediately is an AOD.

Playing in the dungeon where you are overly concerned or try to make sure your slave gets to sub space or sexually pleased in a way is too people having fun with kink.
Inflicting pain and/or putting your slave in bondage and not giving a damn if this time is pleasurable or not it is all about you is an AOD.

In fact the key for me personally is knowing my Master is indulging in what he wants and not doing things because he thinks I want him to. So the more powerful, overt, painful and disgusting things done to me knowing they do not bring me pleasure by themselves are all very strong acts of domination. To me mainly because if I know he can do these things to me for whatever reason I know all the smaller things are done for that reason and makes all the wonderful things he does do just for me more pure and special!