No Angle. Just Be You.

One of the most common discussions between men and women is men will always bring up the lame thought of “why is it women are not attracted to nice men”. It is always one of those mind boggling thoughts men come up with as I do not think any women has ever gone I do not like nice men.

When getting into the power exchange life this topic just goes to another level as men debate this endlessly and with the usual finesse of doing surgery with a rusty hack saw come up with gross generalizations that just astound the brain.


Please men please discuss amongst yourselves what is nice and the best way for things as you measure the size of your cocks. The men actually walking over and talking to the women are the ones who will take us home and fuck us.

Women will decide if you are nice or not and not what you think nice is or if you are. There is a reason why sometimes the beautiful women are seen with ordinary men and people scratch their heads. The reason is because the men made the effort and pursued those women.

Women do not order men off a menu. They do ask a waiter for the best dominant man with a side of nice and are all set. Like men our options are the men who are interested in us and like it or not we are just not going to tap you on the shoulder and go I want you. We may hint up a storm or we may wait and hope but history shows a forever pattern of expecting men to make the moves.

Women in general but women who want sever power exchange relationships lust after men who are assertive. Assertive does not mean ass and it certainly can include being nice and classy. We have actual disdain and are repelled by passive men who do not show self confidence, the ability to have an opinion and cannot lead or make decisions.

It does not matter how nice and classy you are if you want to find a woman who identifies as a slave or sub with slave like tendencies as most men want bring the assertiveness and stop worrying about projecting “nice”. Let me be clear here, not projecting nice does not mean project jerk instead.

Men would you be insulted if you only thought women thought you cared about was the size of their tits?

Whenever I read about men debating nice that one note is all that I hear. It is this loud annoying one note. You of course when looking for a long term someone want a lot more then just one thing. Why do you think all women are only looking for nice when they meet you?

Women are looking for a lot of things just like you men are. One thing is nice but we also know nice when first meeting, whether in person or cyber, and nice by what we consider nice is two different things. So when making contact with a woman if you obsess over trying to communicate you are nice and this hides other qualities you are destroying your chances.

Are you fake?

Whenever I read or talk to men where the subject of nice comes up that is what I really hear. Because often men will reel off stories of how they specifically tried to be nice or even tried to be “jerks” like “other” men they see. In power exchange the words change to the more common I talk to this woman as an equal and not all dominant like.

Well are you intentionally or even unintentionally putting on an act and not being yourself because the woman will not respond to that. Seriously whether live or in cyber most women will get a sense if they are being played or not and that will get you the dust off. So the next time you think you want to come off as nice, come off as dominant or come off as assertive you have sent to your own mind to not be you. That will always come with a risk.

Men I know so many of you want the secret code to unlock all women as potential slaves for you. But there is none. Thinking of a way to act or specific words have a universal magic spell to cast over women that wins them over is a waste of time.

Always be yourself!

Three words and all the advice I can give you. I have no magic words to give you. I have no concept of what nice and assertive can be to be universally accepted as nice and assertive. I have no concept of what will make a women think that is the one. Stop wasting your time on the thought of nice or a jerk, polite or rude and casual or demanding. Those other men that claim what they do works great because that is what they do are liars.

Whether you think you are nice or not do not worry and realize that is up to the woman to decide. Whether you are assertive or give off the vibe of dominance or not is also up to the women. If you project an act all that will cause is trust to be destroyed when you can no longer keep it up. If you think that you will flip a switch and turn from super vanilla man to super dominant man in your personality that is not going to happen. Acting a role either before or after will not cut it.

So please stop worrying about if women want to see this and just be yourself. What do you care if a woman does not want you if you show who you truly are. Think of it as a blessing of time not wasted because you played them with an act. It just takes one special woman for you and I guarantee you that woman will find you nice and all dominant like for who you are and not what you project.

Stop worrying about style when communicating and spend that time working on the substance of the communications. Nice guys do not finish last but actors playing do.

What’s Assertive Got To Do With It

First I want to apologize for not posting in awhile. I had a family emergency that had me back in Taipei and was not in the position or mood to write anything.

One of the big hypocrisies that happens when some people discuss this life is far too often is when a submissives is painted to look like they are weak and passive human beings but at the same time are painted to be super obedient and are wanted to anticipate needs and things done to the best with acknowledgment of human limitations. Of course these two things simply do not fit together.

Being assertive and being submissive are not mutually exclusive

Generally, when these things are being discussed there are always one or more people who tend to bring up the question “can one who is assertive also be submissive?”


The answer is actually a simple, duh, of course! In fact is not being assertive pretty much an admired and coveted characteristic for all human beings? The fact is being assertive means being proactive in what one is doing and all dominants kind of dig a slave who is taking their submission and what it requires seriously with conscious effort.

For example, which is preferred a slave who receives directions to plan and prepare for having another couple over for dinner and goes about doing it with only asking a few important questions or one who asks a million questions out of not being able or being afraid to do anything on there own? One is serving in a proactive way and the other has turned their brain off and causing a lot of work and energy onto their Master.

Assertive does not mean selfish or aggressive

Being able to speak up is a good quality. Speaking in a bad tone or something that goes against the agreed upon dynamic is a totally different thing. For example, in questioning a punishment it is one thing to say “could you please expand on your thoughts on why I am being punished Master” then saying “I think I do not deserve to be punished and that if you do punish me then you are doing something wrong”.


Communication and being proactive is good. If horny and wanting to be played with or have sex to ask or doing things that express such sentiment is good. Copping an attitude or questioning the relationship just because you end up not getting played with or having sex when you wanted is selfish.

Let us be real here

Most of the male population enjoys from a small to great level of having a female be dependent on them. To be that person we can rely on for solving our problems or doing things we are ignorant of or do not have the capabilities to do. In many ways when doing such things for us that they are very much acts of love they are showing. For example, I can but dread taking my car in for service but my Master will not allow me to do it but will always do it. To me that is an act of love.

In addition to these things men enjoy very much, so do women, seeing things done by their other that are done expressing I am doing this just for you out of love and caring for you. One does not get that warm fuzzy feeling from the person being so passive and needing so much specific directions or have to get important information out of the other is like pulling teeth. Doing things in an assertive manner in the power exchange area is in fact the lubrication that is needed to show these are in fact acts expressing our love and devotion.

We get what we deserve

Whenever I hear that slaves are not or cannot be assertive I feel sorry because the people who think that are truly headed for a fall. We simply will only find in the end what we believe is there.

So a slave who thinks they cannot be assertive will only find dominants interested in a slave who they see or need to be unassertive. Dominants who think slaves are unassertive and weak will only find this in slaves that are willing to put up with them. The problem is these are damaged souls who cannot deal with mentally healthy other’s and search out defective people like themselves as a way to self medicate.

Being assertive is a good thing that most of us have in some degree and is not some special trait a dominant has and a submissive lacks.