Exercising the Actual Power

I am sitting down on this computer one very happy, lustful and loving. Along with being very sore especially my tits that have more black, blue and purple marks then regular color and dried cum from a morning frolic I am hesitant to jump into the shower and wash off. I have spent too much of my time this morning staring at the marks and getting giddy feeling my soreness and how the dried cum feels and was thinking why I love to feel and see these things.

Very common reaction

Now what I have just written is very clichéd as so many of us are like this. But it is also clichéd when taking it to the big picture. We like to feel a part of something. We like to see representation of that something. We wear wedding rings and collars to signify committed relationships between two people. We wear our school colors especially during big events like the NCAA Tournament. People cover themselves in tattoos many being something that is representative like loved ones names or specific interests they are big into.

I think this is why many of us love to see the marks and bruises from our Master’s. It is just a great reminder of who we are, what are relationship dynamic is and our love and devotion to our owner. Wedding rings and collars are great. Spoken words of love and devotion are very cool as well. But something about marks and feeling the soreness that just at least for me is an extra something. I mean I work in an ER and I am lucky to go more then a couple of shifts without seeing bruises on victims from abuse. This one might think would make me despise bruises of all types and yet staring at mine nothing negative ever pops into my head.

Power Baby!

For most 24/7 slaves the power that is exercised over us is thrilling, cool, sexy and probably many other words depending on one’s thoughts. We are not in power exchange relationships because the dynamic makes us sad or bored. We are not in them because we are naturally submissive and therefore obey is just the way. No many of us slaves are in these relationship dynamics because giving over power has many good things associated with it and for many this includes heart pitter patter and lustful thoughts and reactions.

My favorite non power exchange power exchange get it moment in a movie was in GoodFellas and not even direct power exchange. After Henry Hill beats up a guy who was bad to his girlfriend with a gun as his girlfriend looks on. Henry then gives her the bloodied gun to hide. Then through narration the girlfriend goes something like “Most women would have just walked away. I didn’t, the fact is it turned me on”.

To me this scene can be a very good lesson for all dominants that want M/s or Take in Hand relationships. Because to me this scene represents a very hard truth even if it is not directly relatable to an M/s relationship. This scene teaches it is not just the power you claim to have but also using of that power is critically important.

We like the feelings

Whenever I read the preaching of one of the cool factor stereotypes of the Master being the best Master by little he has to do. Because he has trained his slave so well and the slave is always perfectly obedient and anticipating their needs and things like that I often either start laughing at the phoniness of it all or get miffed at someone once again presenting a false image of M/s life and trying to make some mythical end result determine success and greatness.


M/s is an ever ongoing active participation thing for both roles. Owners need to understand it is not just the power you have like it is some aura around you but the power you exercise on an ongoing basis over your slave that makes the relationship work, run smoothly and happily. That this is not just about the physical kinky things that we often talk about or indulge for fun. This is about all the things a Master needs to bring to the table. So whether in a M/s relationship kink indulged or in a Domestic Discipline/Take in Hand type relationship where nothing kinky can be going on that exercising power through strong leadership, control and use of your slave in the agreed upon dynamic in an active way is not only a good things but a much needed thing.

It is why someone like me stares at my marks and it makes my heart pitter patter. It what makes someone like me every time I am reminded of what was done to me from being soar from it gets a little turned on. Because it is not just my Master’s power but that I see, hear, feel, touch and taste it exercised over me.

It makes me happy, relaxed and it turns me on.

Active Domination

What a Master/Mistress need to bring to the table in a total power exchange relationship

I have used the phrase “active domination” an awful lot in this blog and especially in bashing a specific group of dominants in my last few posts but outside of a quick explanation of it I have yet to really go into what I am writing about. I hope this is obvious for most and for some who are new or for some who have had trouble keeping a slave that this information is of some use. Active domination is specific actions within the power exchange relationship and not to be confused with qualities of someone. Basically one’s qualities will create actions.

So you have this hot woman into you greatly and both of you are want a Master/slave 24/7 total power exchange relationship. You cannot believe this woman is going to do domestic things with a smile on her face for you. You cannot believe this woman will blow you every day like it is your birthday and smile while taking that cum facial you might desire to give her even if some gets in an eye of hers. You cannot believe this woman would rather spend hours making something from scratch just because of a slight preference of yours from something store bought. You cannot believe that this woman will suffer the great pain you inflict on her just to show her love and devotion to you.

All this because she likes you and has a submissive personality! Oops do not blow it by thinking merely your presence and natural personality is all it takes for your needs and any desire to be her number one desire. She wants a lot of things in return for her to want/need this way 24/7 and not just when the mood strikes or right after some play. What she now wants from you is to dominate her in a 24/7 way.

This is what I call active domination. These are the things that a dominant will bring to the table in some compatible combination in order for a person with a submissive personality, who has developed strong feelings/love for that dominant with the passion for being dominated that is wanting/needing to have that 24/7 TPE relationship.

Here are some of those things that make up active domination in no particular order or any guarantee I have all of them listed.

Leadership: Dominants lead and slaves follow. Get it and live it. This does not mean 100% of everything after all everyone reading this is human after all or keeping a really big secret. A slave hopefully should not need and especially should not expect 100% in this area but they are certainly expecting and needing leadership in most things involving you and certainly if it affects both of you.

Leadership is making decisions, setting goals and expectations, communicating in a proactive manner and taking responsibility personally and for your slave.

Better be Decisive: Not many people calling themselves Master or Mistress last long by not being able to make decisions, not knowing what they want and looking to their slave for ideas and what they want too much. A slave simply hates this and wants these things as little as possible and is one of the big draws of this life to not have to look too often into the eyes of other and see blankness or indecisiveness.


Direct Communication: Please stop reading erotic literature on M/s or buying into the cool factor of a slave who always anticipates your needs and desires. It sounds so cool and awesome no wonder many act like this is attainable as a way to brag. Guess what? A slave will be proactive to a certain extent but near total will never happen. Your slave will not be a mind reader nor can spend 24/7 exclusively staring at you trying to. You are probably going to want her to not be a mindless zombie and mentally healthy. This requires energy and brain thoughts to not always be about trying to read their Master’s brain.

A big reason a slave is drawn to the power exchange life is they want their other to TELL THEM DIRECTLY what they want and not having to guess at it like in a normal relationship.

Be a taker not a facilitator: A 24/7 TPE slave actually does need to put their owner’s wants and desires, especially short term and immediate ones, first and will take pleasure and happiness from seeing their owner happy and pleasured. Most slaves are simply hypersensitive in sensing and certainly wanting to know if their owner is specifically doing what they want or are doing something ONLY BECAUSE they think their slave wants it.

A slave who has entered into a 24/7 total power exchange relationship has actually given their owner the power to control them within the scope/hard limits for selfish reasons. There is an actual reason why it is called 24/7 TPE and that is that the slave wants to give up control to her owner. The slave wants/needs pure actions from their Master. This simply means we know damn well many times people suppress, change or sacrifice what they want because they know the other for some reason would not want or like that and we do not want that crap in our relationship from our other.

So if as a dominant do not worry or try to mimic a regular couple but you are just taking the lead. If you are horny in the middle of the night wake me to take care of it. It is your right in the relationship. If you want beef stroganoff five nights in a row and makes me have to go to the store each night to get the ingredients then tell me to make it each of those nights. It is your right.

If you as a dominant need your slave to be ok or wanting everything you order her to do or do to her then that is not domination as that is facilitating. A slave gives away our immediate desires and pleasures and cherishes giving them away because our long term desires are being met by having our Master behave in a pure way.

If the dominant is naturally a selfish inconsiderate ass then they will be no matter the dynamic and no power exchange relationship dynamic can fix that. A slave wants a taker and this will mean that things done to make us happy are from our owner’s heart and not payment for services rendered.

Physical Manifestations of the Power Exchange: As a slave I want and need to not just live in a TPE relationship but I need to feel it, taste it, hear it and have it overwhelm my senses.

Here is the deal. Making a slave suffer in some way by making them do something they would not choose on their own is vital as long as the motivations are legit. I want to suffer for the one I call Master because he wants to see a strong show of my love and devotion to him and our TPE dynamic. I want to suffer if he gets pleasure from it, gets him off or just helps him out in some way with a need, want or desire.

I also though need to suffer to know my Master will make me suffer as this is an incredibly strong need of mine. I need to know he has zero problems in making me suffer because if I know this I will feel so much more comfortable that all his other actions are pure from his mind and heart. That if he can make me suffer then him taking me to a nice restaurant is from his heart not from his mind of thinking he better suck up to me.

Physical or verbal manifestations of the power exchange can be but not exclusive to just the kinky things. Kinky things can be done for mutual direct pleasure or done just for the dominant. Plenty of way to do this with out the standard kinks we often focus on. Here is a perfect example of a quick physical manifestation that goes a long way.

Conclusion

Slaves need to be dominated in our life with the one we care/need to serve. The dominant needs to be conscious that this does in fact take effort in thought and many times actions. For those who just want a 1950’s traditional role relationship without any drama or attitude along with an on demand nympho kinky porn star that is simply not a TPE total power exchange relationship.

Disclaimers for the last few posts:

1) Suffer does not equate being miserable. A slave is not looking to be miserable most of the time let alone enjoys the feeling of being miserable. A slave like me suffer a lot with love and pleasure if there is something positive/pleasurable going on for our other or our relationship together. Just making a slave miserable for the sake of making them miserable is not domination. That goes down the slippery slope of abuse.

2) Huge difference between a good dominant and a good significant other and likewise for bad. A person can have all the great qualities of a good dominant and be wonderful in the active domination aspects of the relationship. It though does not automatically make them a good person.

If the dominant is selfish and never does anything considerate and especially out of caring and love this is not a defect in the dynamic and it is simply you probably made a bad choice in whom to fall for. When in a complete relationship regardless of the power dynamic or other has to fulfill things for us. Things like intimacy, sex, support of many types and willingness to sacrifice time and energy for their slave in what life brings with it like family and obligations these are not optional. ANY dominant who either tells you a slave should not need things like this or they have no responsibility to provide them is simply not worth serving! Any dominant who only “tries” to provide these things like they are a reward or payment for services rendered is also simply not worth serving.

Never confuse mistakes in the dynamic or ability of a Master and slave to be “good” with the distinct possibility the person is just not worth it. Power exchange still means there has to be equal effort just that effort is not equal in all things but just on the whole.